1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,235 . 2 00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:03,304 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 3 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,041 Don't use that one. It's icky. 4 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,742 God doesn't make mistakes very often, 5 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,211 but when he does, 6 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,845 you have to throw them right in the trash. 7 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:12,880 - Oh. - Does this make sense 8 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,947 to anyone else? 9 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,417 White dress, $30. 10 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,919 White wedding dress, $200. 11 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,588 Is there cocaine in this or something? 12 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,590 - Yeah. The wedding industry's a racket. 13 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,892 - Oh, you think everything is a racket. 14 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:28,296 - And that is the last of it, Glenn. 15 00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:30,331 - Wow. Hmm. 16 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,034 - I'm just gonna say what we all thinking. 17 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,337 This is pretty as hell. 18 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,506 - Oh, it's 8:00. 19 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,907 - Ooh, wait. Uh, hold on. 20 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,375 I just want to move that. 21 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,610 That's not in center. 22 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,245 That should be in center. 23 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,547 [Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation"] 24 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,550 [all yelling] 25 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:53,053 * 26 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,222 - Oh, no, no. 27 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:59,093 * 28 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:03,364 Well, that was a good use of the last five hours. 29 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:06,400 [upbeat music] 30 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,770 [both struggling] 31 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,540 - They realize they're basically just fighting over a white net 32 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,807 with glitter on it, right? 33 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,776 - Mm, I got five bucks on the blonde. 34 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,178 - Yeah, I'll take that action. 35 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,814 - How are there already this many go backs? 36 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,483 We've been open for five minutes. 37 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,219 - Oh, I'm actually here as a customer today. 38 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,954 How do I look? 39 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,322 - Ooh, wow. 40 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,890 - Aw, that's hella nice, yo. 41 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,359 Yo, where's the laptops at? 42 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:32,893 We need, like, five or six of those things. 43 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,562 My band is playing at our wedding. 44 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,564 Yeah, we're gonna smash computers as part of the act 45 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,333 'cause, you know, like, technology. 46 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,569 - Uh...wow. 47 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:44,338 That sounds like an expensive celebration you're planning. 48 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,307 - It's about 500 people. 49 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,675 I wanted to invite more, 50 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,977 but I couldn't afford any more stamps. 51 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,812 - I bet your parents are all, like, 52 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:55,249 "Don't spend all your money on one day! 53 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,818 Save some for the baby." 54 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:58,819 Parents. 55 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,421 - Nah. Five G's, son. 56 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,423 Yo, what's up? Making it rain! 57 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,558 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 58 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,560 Stand down. Drop that paper, yo. 59 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,995 It's mine. 60 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,497 - Where did you get all of that? 61 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,065 - Bo got hit by a car in the seventh grade 62 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,334 by an old lady. 63 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:16,003 She was legally blind and super drunk. 64 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,671 Isn't he lucky? 65 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,273 - Yeah, your boy here was just crossing the street, 66 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,774 then it was like, crash! 67 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,443 Oh, going to the light. 68 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,911 I'm like, "No, God. Later. 69 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,513 I got stuff to accomplish. Later, light." 70 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:26,780 I pick up a phone. 71 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,349 [mimics dialing] "Yo, hello, lawyer? 72 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,683 "Yo, settle out of court? 73 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,352 I think so. Yes." 74 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,886 Wha-chaah. Money. 75 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,288 Ha-ha! 76 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,124 - So you just walk around with $5,000 in your pocket? 77 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,360 - That's right. I always got that right here. 78 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,429 Uh-oh. Where's that five G's? 79 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:42,696 Yo, I was just kidding, dummies. 80 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,765 I got that right here. Oh, no. 81 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,033 Yo, where's it at, for real? 82 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,935 - It's right there. 83 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,770 - Oh. 84 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,138 Oh, what's up? 85 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,473 Good looking out, yo. 86 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,242 - Please don't tip me. 87 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,244 - [grunting] [sighs] 88 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,111 Ma'am, I have the arm strength of a chimp, 89 00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,314 but there is just too much real estate back here. 90 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:03,551 I'd have to dislocate your shoulder. 91 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,419 - Do it. 92 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,120 - Okay. 93 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,456 But you'll have to teach one of your bridesmaids 94 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,023 to do this on the day. 95 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,260 - And they actually have money saved up, 96 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,262 but instead of using it to pay for the baby, 97 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,564 they're gonna blow it all on some big party. 98 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:17,831 - What? 99 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,501 Two 17-year-olds are making a bad decision? 100 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,735 - What? 101 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,537 - I thought that only happened in the movies. 102 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,274 - I'm just saying that I wish somebody had warned me 103 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:27,875 not to spend so much money on a wedding. 104 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,643 - I'm telling you. 105 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,712 People do not like to be told how to spend their money. 106 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,146 - Really? 107 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,415 So does that mean you'll stop telling me 108 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,816 to call your "dad's friend?" 109 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,418 - That's about making you money, 110 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,819 and if you saw the charts that he showed me-- 111 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,954 - Oh, yeah. The charts. 112 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,597 - Hi. Where are the twinkly white lights? 113 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,999 - It's an outdoor ceremony, so they have to be weatherproof. 114 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:54,302 - I will take you to them. - Thank you. 115 00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,904 - Which one of you is the lucky fella? 116 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,473 - Oh, well, actually, we both are. 117 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,642 - I love that! 118 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,411 The four of you can celebrate 119 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,779 your anniversary together every year. 120 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,780 - No-- - Congratulations 121 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,916 on your wedding! - Yes. 122 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:09,917 - To each other. 123 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,919 - To... - Yeah. 124 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,356 - Oh! 125 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,325 - Outdoor lighting is in aisle four. 126 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,759 If you need anything else, just ask. 127 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,193 - Thank you. - Thanks. 128 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,095 - Have a heavenly day! 129 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,865 - Thank you. 130 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,600 I don't know how, 131 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,769 but you really seem to have a handle on this whole gay, 132 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,071 you know-- 133 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:34,007 Oh! 134 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,876 That's great, Mateo! 135 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,911 Congratulations on that. 136 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,780 You know, I thought you might be, 137 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,214 but I-I wasn't sure, 138 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,750 and then I forgot about it. 139 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:46,354 But now I know, and that's terrific with me. 140 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:47,888 Yeah. 141 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,357 - Oh, bam! 142 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,659 I'm about to blow up this alien so bad. 143 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,361 Whoa. Oh. 144 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:57,631 - Chey, you know babies come with lots of expenses... 145 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,701 is what your dumb parents would say. 146 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,536 Remember, from before? 147 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,372 Aah, parents. 148 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:06,674 - Oh. - Yeah. 149 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,709 But your parents do make a good point. 150 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,111 - Well, my mom said that we should save some money, 151 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:14,782 but then, Bo is all like, "Nah," so it's a tough call. 152 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,885 - Dang! Those aliens are smart as hell! 153 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,787 You want to go back to shopping? 154 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,021 - Yes. - Hey, guys. 155 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,956 You want to play a different game? 156 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,191 - Blam! 157 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,459 - Diapers! - Boom! 158 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:26,694 - Wipes! - Blast! 159 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,128 - Bottle warmer. - Headshot! 160 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,897 - More diapers. - Poo-poo! 161 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,532 - Breast pump. - Squirt, squirt! 162 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:32,800 - Diaper bag. - Pew, pew! 163 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,402 See you in hell, cute baby stuff. 164 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:36,236 - Bo, you're killing them all! 165 00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,005 - And time's up. 166 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,173 - What's up? 2,500 points! 167 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,876 Your boy here is getting a Charleston Chew! 168 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,712 - Actually, those aren't points. 169 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,715 Those are dollars, and that's how much this stuff costs. 170 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,684 - This stuff is $2,500? 171 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,720 That's, like, half of Bo's stack. 172 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:57,057 - Plus a car seat and a crib and daycare, 173 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,827 and it just keeps coming. 174 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,495 - Dang. 175 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,931 I'm gonna have to get hit by so many cars. 176 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,099 - Maybe we should save some of our wedding money 177 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,501 for the future. 178 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,970 - Huh, yeah. 179 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,439 You could do that. 180 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,340 You do have to make some sacrifices 181 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,775 when you're a parent. 182 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:18,846 I mean, your whole life changes. 183 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:22,583 - Bo, you look weird. 184 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,617 - Yeah. Hey. 185 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,185 - But I think it's great 186 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,154 that you guys are starting to think about being-- 187 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,457 - Aah! 188 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,758 Hey, look out. - Bo? 189 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,959 - Excuse me. Oh, sorry. 190 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,928 - Bo? 191 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:38,632 . 192 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,300 - Where did you go? Please come back. 193 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,103 I love you. 194 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,938 It's Cheyenne, by the way. 195 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,607 - Hey, you had to go freak the little dummy out? 196 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:47,941 - Well, it's not my fault. 197 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:48,976 - Oh, she's right. 198 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,644 She was just teaching us this fun game 199 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:54,381 about how expensive and scary it is to have a baby. 200 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:56,984 What if he never comes back? 201 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,786 - He will. He's gonna come back. 202 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,688 He will! 203 00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:01,689 And you know what? 204 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,223 If he doesn't, 205 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,525 that wouldn't be the worst thing-- 206 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,594 - Going right back at it, huh? 207 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,028 - Okay. 208 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,564 You know what? Um...I'll go look for him. 209 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,232 - Could tag along with me if you want. 210 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,935 That turd walked out with a Cloud 9 scanner gun. 211 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,269 That makes it my jurisdiction. 212 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,771 - He is not a turd. 213 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,206 - Oh, he's a turd. 214 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,808 Also, my truck has a rather unique odor, 215 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:23,043 but you should get used to it after a couple of hours. 216 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,212 - Oh...no, thank you. 217 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,948 We should probably just split up, you know, 218 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,382 cover more ground. 219 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,351 - Up to you. Oh... 220 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,920 Almost forgot my Taser. 221 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,522 [electricity sparks] - Oh, oh! 222 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,924 - Okay. I'm coming with you! 223 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,726 Take care of her. - [whines] 224 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,928 - Uh, hey, hey. Now, now. 225 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,930 Now, now. There, little lady. 226 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,666 You're gonna--you're gonna do just fine, kiddo. 227 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,004 - [crying] 228 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,774 - Girl. 229 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,809 I learned that from Wendy Williams. 230 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,217 - If you're hungry, that can of beans is up for grabs, 231 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,919 but not this one. 232 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,988 - I'm good. 233 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,724 Do you mind if I turn on the-- where's your radio? 234 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,726 - Oh, I special ordered my truck without one. 235 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,327 Yeah, it costs a little extra, 236 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,329 but it makes the vehicle less appealing to thieves 237 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,866 'cause no one wants a truck without a radio. 238 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,434 Name a song, though. I'll sing it for you. 239 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,836 - That's okay. - No, no, go ahead. 240 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,872 I got a photographic memory for music. 241 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,774 - Okay, um... 242 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,208 "Single Ladies." 243 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,442 - Not familiar with that one. 244 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,244 - "Uptown Funk." - Don't know it. 245 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,713 - "Dancing Queen." - Nope. 246 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,015 - "Thriller?" 247 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,850 Michael Jackson? 248 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,118 - You can't name a song by some guy 249 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,386 you went to middle school with. 250 00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,421 It has to be popular. 251 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,228 * Oh Danny boy 252 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:52,633 * The pipes the pipes are calling * 253 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,669 [indistinct chatter] 254 00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,405 - I can't be a single mom. 255 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:01,041 I have never even driven on the highway before. 256 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,943 What if the baby needs to go downtown? 257 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,713 - Okay, again, Bo is coming back, all right? 258 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,615 And when he does, you're gonna have a cart full 259 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,784 of hella radical wedding stuff to show him. 260 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,185 - Yeah, like these little ass pillows 261 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,655 to put the rings on 'cause they're important. 262 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,189 - Bo once threw up on a pillow 263 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,425 at my grandma's retirement party. 264 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,993 - [chuckles] 265 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,063 - Everything I see reminds me of how amazing he was. 266 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,833 - Okay. Surprising triggers. 267 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,768 We'll pick for you. What do you think? 268 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,402 - Pfft... 269 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,671 This one. Done. 270 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,905 Moving on. 271 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,206 - Ooh. - What? What's up? 272 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,808 - It's a little burlap-y. 273 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,143 She's getting married, not shipping coffee. 274 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,645 - Ah. 275 00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:38,979 - Why don't we just go with this one? 276 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,648 - Well, you know what? Your call. 277 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:43,751 Do you want to go warm and rustic like this burlap one 278 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,553 or generic, kind of unoriginal? 279 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,057 - I guess warm and rustic. 280 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,725 - Warm and rustic! All right. 281 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,727 We got ourself a pillow. - Okay. 282 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,229 - Next up on the wedding train, guest books. 283 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,230 - Okay. 284 00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,233 [upbeat market music playing] 285 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:07,875 * 286 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:11,344 - I feel terrible about how I handled things earlier 287 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,780 with your friends. 288 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,248 - Friends? Oh, they're not--no. 289 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,017 They're not my friends, dude. - Oh, I'm sorry. 290 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,920 Gay BFFs? 291 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,588 I don't know the lingo. 292 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,191 Look, I just want everyone who comes into this store 293 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,893 to feel accepted. 294 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:28,095 But do you know that in this entire sale, 295 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:31,264 there is not one section dedicated to gay weddings? 296 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,300 - Gay people use the same decorations as straight people. 297 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,567 We just use 'em better. 298 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,603 - That's my point exactly. 299 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,471 I mean, they should not have to conform 300 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:44,277 to someone's... hel--hetero normal ideal 301 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,546 of what a wedding should be. 302 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:50,583 Would you be willing to help me put something together? 303 00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:51,985 - Of course. 304 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,520 - Great. 305 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,523 We're gonna take those guys' minds and blow them. 306 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,991 - [laughs awkwardly] 307 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:02,062 - I don't know if just randomly driving around is a good idea. 308 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,497 - Where do teenagers go? 309 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,733 Prom. 310 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,400 Is there a prom around? 311 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,403 - No, I just meant that we should think like a teenager. 312 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,739 - Ah, yeah. 313 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,574 Hey, Mom, get out of my room. 314 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,310 You don't understand my generation. 315 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,747 Pimples. 316 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,915 It's not helping. 317 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,183 - Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait! 318 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,551 Is that him? 319 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,919 Hey! Hey! 320 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,420 Stop! It's him, it's him. 321 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,521 Speed up. Go, go, go. 322 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,990 Bo! 323 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,424 Hey, Bo! 324 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:34,394 We just want to talk! Stop! 325 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,829 - That's one of our carts. 326 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,064 That's one of our carts. 327 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,166 - What? Who cares? Bo! 328 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,167 [tires screeching] [car honking] 329 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,835 What are you doing? 330 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,236 [Chamillionaire's "Ridin'"] 331 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,772 - Who cares? 332 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,339 I care. 333 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,775 Hey. 334 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,376 That is Cloud 9 store property! 335 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,377 - No, it's not. 336 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,947 - Dina! He's getting away! 337 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,783 Bo! 338 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,484 - No, no, no. Absolutely not. 339 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,086 Give it to me. Hey. - It's not your cart! 340 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:02,956 . 341 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,163 - You know, on second thought, 342 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,034 I don't think that is one of our carts. 343 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,803 So what are we thinking for lunch? 344 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,304 Sandwiches? Burritos? 345 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,806 Indian? Tapas? 346 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,007 - What is up with you? 347 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,608 Do you even want to find Bo? 348 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,043 - Yes, of course I do. 349 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:28,882 Just...maybe not right away. 350 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:32,052 I'm really not anxious to get back to the wedding day sale, 351 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,486 okay? 352 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,222 Just seeing all those women celebrating, 353 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,124 having found someone, 354 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,658 and I'm not getting any younger. 355 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:41,494 Kind of a bummer. - Well, it can be hard to date. 356 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,130 - If you'd seen some of the guys I dated. 357 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,865 [whistles] 358 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,167 Gay. Racist. 359 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,569 Mean. Redhead. 360 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,138 That was all one guy. 361 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,874 - Oh, I've dated some losers. 362 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,308 I dated this one guy 363 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,677 who would only speak in Monty Python quotes. 364 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,312 - The last guy I dated only hung out with me 365 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,081 to play chess with my dad, 366 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,716 and the guy before that was just using me for my freezer. 367 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,452 - I dated three guys 368 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:08,989 who were dating me just to get close to my friend, Rene, 369 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:12,092 and Rene wasn't even that hot. 370 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:15,128 Whatever. This is not about Rene. 371 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,867 - Well, Rene sounds like a sack of crap. 372 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:22,169 - She was. Thank you. 373 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,470 - I just call it like I see it. 374 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,339 - Yes. 375 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,076 - There is...a guy at work 376 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,445 that things have been getting pretty intense with. 377 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,281 - Really? Who? 378 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,883 - Well, I don't want to talk about my personal life 379 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,051 with coworkers, but I will say 380 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,989 that there has been some very heavy flirtation happening. 381 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,723 I've been changing my shirt multiple times a day 382 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,893 just 'cause of all the pit stains. 383 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,394 - Steamy stuff. 384 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,530 - How's this? 385 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,798 - It's nice. 386 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,366 - But is it gay enough? 387 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,102 I don't want to be kicking myself later 388 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,170 that we should have gone more gay. 389 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,771 Let's err on the side of gay. 390 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,540 - It feels appropriately gay. 391 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,608 - Good. 392 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,576 - You know, I have to say, 393 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,079 you're much more open-minded than I thought. 394 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,780 - Thank you. 395 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:11,284 People assume all Christians are homophobes. 396 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,186 You know, that is ignorant. 397 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:17,590 You can't imagine how hard it is being stereotyped. 398 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,526 - Sure. - I mean, if anything, 399 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:23,130 Jesus went out of his way to accept everyone. 400 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,364 - Agreed. - Yeah. 401 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,133 - I think Jesus would've been pro-gay marriage. 402 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,167 - Absolutely. 403 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,269 He would've been pro-gay adoption. 404 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:32,305 - For all we know, Jesus himself was gay. 405 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,944 - So it's Tuesday, right? 406 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,512 That means-- that means Wednesday's coming. 407 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,215 - Mm. Shake? 408 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,151 - No, thanks. Vegan. 409 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,954 - Huh. - Yeah. 410 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,555 You know, we can keep looking for Bo, 411 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,690 but the guy can't bike forever, 412 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,960 especially not with those quads. 413 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,294 What don't you like him? 414 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,263 Is it the mustache? 415 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,131 - No. 416 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,800 I got married at 19. 417 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,336 I know what they're in for. 418 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,973 I mean, you miss out on a lot of stuff. 419 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,408 I mean, you get stuff too, obviously, 420 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,011 but the money's always tight, 421 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,313 and you're five steps ahead of where you should be 422 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,883 but also five steps behind where you should've been. 423 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,818 - But the mustache is bad, right? 424 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,321 - Strawberry blondes should not be allowed to grow facial hair. 425 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,589 - No. 426 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,991 - That should be in our Constitution. 427 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,492 - Yeah. 428 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:29,196 Well, we should probably go back. 429 00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:32,165 God, I hope the brides have cleared out. 430 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,067 - You know, no one's really gonna notice 431 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,436 if we're gone another hour or two. 432 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,338 - Well, what would we do? 433 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,539 - Um... 434 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,575 Oh, we could pamper ourselves. 435 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,678 - Oh, yeah. 436 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,147 [gunfire] The place is way fancier 437 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,082 than my usual spot. 438 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,718 Moist towelettes to wipe up the gunpowder. 439 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,854 Man, I feel like a princess. 440 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,123 - I think I saw a turquoise one. 441 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,690 - Boom, cake stand. 442 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,726 Silver-plated, lace bows. 443 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,661 This is all kinds of elegant. 444 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,830 If someone came up to you with a wheelbarrow full of elegance, 445 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,365 you'd have to be like, "Sorry, homie. 446 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,699 We ass-deep in elegance." 447 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,035 - That's really pretty. 448 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,269 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, yeah, no. 449 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,803 That would be--really, 450 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,705 it'd be perfect for a traditional wedding cake. 451 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,706 - Yeah. - But we were talking more of, 452 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,376 like, a dessert pot luck kind of a thing. 453 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,645 - For a wedding? That seems a little adventurous. 454 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,049 - Jonah says a lot of weddings are doing more DIY elements. 455 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,750 - We're just looking for something a little more 456 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,884 specifically curated to Cheyenne and Bo's-- 457 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,186 - Ugh, that word. 458 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,454 - You said I could say "curated" once a week. 459 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,855 I chose now as my time. 460 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,191 - Honestly, as long as Bo is there, I don't even-- 461 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,392 - Yeah, no, no, no. Totally, totally, totally. 462 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,227 I'm just saying, I don't think a wedding 463 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,529 needs to be stuck in stodgy, old traditions. 464 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:39,066 - Right, better to have the wedding in a treehouse, 465 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,201 drinking artisanal cocktails out of a tuba. 466 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,903 - A DIY element does add a certain personal touch to it. 467 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,472 - It's a trend, like dancing down the aisle. 468 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:46,806 - You know, it's like, "I'm eating flan. 469 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,241 I'm eating a baklava." 470 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,509 - Why couldn't we just have a nice, classy cake 471 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,743 like civilized human beings? 472 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,245 - Give my taste buds a passport 473 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,147 because they're going around the world. 474 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,415 - Let's go over some basics. 475 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,850 [gunfire] You're gonna take your mag. 476 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,887 The flat part is actually gonna go towards the back of the gun. 477 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,095 - My favorite uncle was a cop. 478 00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:10,997 He got me a .22 for my Quinceañera. 479 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,465 - Here, I thought you were just 480 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,301 the second-hottest girl at work. 481 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,468 [chuckles] 482 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,504 [gun shots] 483 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,475 Hey, you should come with me to celebrity night sometime. 484 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,344 They put pictures on the targets. 485 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,945 I don't want to brag, but last week, 486 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,680 Kristen Stewart was my bitch. 487 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,981 - Oh, my God. 488 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,817 - Yeah, it's really satisfying. 489 00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:34,287 . 490 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,022 - So, you just gonna walk out on your fiancé? 491 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,658 You think that's "where it's at?" 492 00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,127 - Kinda. Okay. 493 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,694 Like, everyone cool I know has done that. 494 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,364 Most rappers. Literally every athlete. 495 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,398 - You know what? 496 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,999 Cheyenne is better off without you. 497 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,569 - What's this? 498 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,837 "Bo Derek Thompson. 499 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,872 "Suma cum laude, Harvard Medical School. 500 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,275 Chief of Cardiology, Johns Hopkins." 501 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,776 - Yo, some of that's left over 502 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,345 from the computer template or whatever. 503 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,213 - Wait, this is what you were doing all day? 504 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,149 You were handing out resumes? 505 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,983 And your name is Bo Derek? 506 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:06,353 - Yeah, it's like you said. Parenting's expensive. 507 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,788 Got to make some paper for that baby coming, be a man. 508 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,492 - "Managing Editor of Vogue, 1972-1981." 509 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,627 - I'm impressed, actually. 510 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,229 - Oh no, Amy. This is all lies. 511 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,600 - Oh, what a surprise. 512 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,635 You picked a white dress. What a curveball. 513 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,171 - 'Cause that's exactly what a wedding should be, 514 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,705 a series of curveballs. 515 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,474 - You guys, it's really sweet that you care, 516 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,376 but both dresses are fugly. 517 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,877 - I just think that your tastes are 518 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,045 a little more along the lines of my grandmother's. 519 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,881 - Okay, well, I just think that 520 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,683 your tastes are a little more along the lines 521 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:37,984 of a wiccan space queen. 522 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,085 - What? 523 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,187 - What's your dream wedding, anyway? 524 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,488 A bunch of people sweating in a field 525 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,022 while some jag reads from "The Velveteen Rabbit?" 526 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,324 - What's your dream wedding? 527 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:48,295 A beige Toyota Camry driven by a white guy named Matthew? 528 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,896 - What is that supposed to mean? - You know! 529 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:52,064 What do you say? You want to look like my aunt Linda? 530 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,667 - You cannot get married in a green bean. 531 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,303 - Right this way. 532 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:59,306 [wedding processional music playing] 533 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,442 * 534 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:06,213 - Welcome. We are happy you're here. 535 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:07,414 - You guys made this? 536 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,648 - It's really nice. 537 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,517 - You think this is nice? 538 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,818 You better buckle in 539 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,321 'cause the party is just getting started. 540 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,723 - It is? We didn't discuss--okay. 541 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,559 [techno music playing] Oh. 542 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,294 - Pose yourself. There's nothing like it. 543 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,762 Vogue! 544 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,231 - Wow. - Vogue. 545 00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:26,098 - Glenn, this isn't what we agreed on! 546 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,734 - I made a few tweaks. 547 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,503 I turned my safe search up to the max 548 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,972 and then Googled, "World's gayest parties." 549 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,307 Wow. 550 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,243 - Listen. He's trying. 551 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:38,945 - He's your dad, two years ago. 552 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,113 - Oh, okay. 553 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,249 - Yeah. 554 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,283 - This was great. 555 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,418 Thank you so much. 556 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,653 - You're welcome. - Oh, another one. 557 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,256 - Wow. - [laughs] 558 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,357 - Get those hands up. - All right. 559 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,559 - Get those hands up. - All right. 560 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,996 - Whoa. 561 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,465 You look like a princess. 562 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,267 - You like it? 563 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,769 It's from the Farrah Abraham collection. 564 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,203 - Who's Farrah Abraham? 565 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,872 - Teen Mom, porn star. 566 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,307 You'd recognize her. 567 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,209 - Don't run away again. 568 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,511 - I won't. 569 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,979 Now we got a bunch to figure out. 570 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,314 But no matter what, you and me 571 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,982 are gonna throw a baller-ass wedding, 572 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,650 raise up a baller-ass shorty, 573 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,820 and have a baller-ass life. 574 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,989 - I think you just wrote our vows. 575 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,358 [poignant music] 576 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:26,993 - I give them six months. 577 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,227 - I don't know. 578 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,896 Maybe they'll surprise us. 579 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,131 - Now, let's bleed some green! Yeah. 580 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:34,534 Come and get a--take a little shower in this stuff! 581 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:35,968 - Or not. 582 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,505 Let 'em start out with a fun party. 583 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,139 - Yeah. 584 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,841 Hey, by the way, 585 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,844 what we were talking about earlier, if you tell anyone, 586 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,145 I will staple your-- 587 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:49,716 - It'll stay between friends. 588 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,451 - Thanks. [chuckles] 589 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,685 Ear to the wall. 590 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:55,355 You interrupted, but that's what I'll staple. 591 00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,889 Just know that. 592 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,762 Hey. 593 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,136 [laughs] 594 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,471 Hey, Jonah. 595 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:14,941 [laughs] 596 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,444 God, you are so funny. 597 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,945 [laughs] 598 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,547 Oh, shoot.